In last few weeks I have been impressed with the quality of the leadership that I have in the congregation where I serve. Like leaders all across the country, we have been adjusting and adapting to the changing COVID-19 landscape. And like many of you, we have had ideas that made sense when we decided to do them and by the time it was time to implement them things had changed enough so the good idea didn’t look as good anymore. What has made me grateful is the grace they have offered, the insights they have shared, and the way they have encouraged and thought through things instead of being harsh and judgmental. I feel blessed!

But I am hearing stories of congregations where leadership is less gracious and mature than the people I am blessed to work with. Instead of adjusting they are simply getting angry and even mean with each other.

So remember, this is the new normal – at least for a fair amount longer. Good ideas will become dated before being carried out. Seemingly safe settings are becoming riskier in a matter of weeks. Plans announced may still be cancelled. People will be disappointed and even angry. It is a recipe for stress and even unhealthy conflict.

I must admit that while I am becoming increasingly gracious as time mellows me and God works on me, I have not always been as gracious as I should have been. In a previous chapter in my own life I might have pushed harder, listened less and pressed to simply get my way. So I understand the desire to move ahead and the temptation to defeat others instead of build solutions together. In fact, the inability to work together is a national crisis. All the more reason that Christians should be offering something better – not only for our own sake but for the sake of the world.

The key to stretching and trying new things is the confidence that if you fail, people have your back and when you make a mistake, people will forgive you. Provide this and people will push and offer their best. Don’t provide it and people will retreat into safety, perhaps doing steady work, but rarely cutting new ground. Grace is a key ingredient in success.

If you are already in the midst of a fight, it is too late to lay the foundations that could have meant a healthier dialog. But it is never too late to urge people to step back, take a breath, listen to Jesus remind us that as he has loved us, “we are to love one another,” and help people refocus in a better place. And times like this are places where theory gets put into practice and there are wonderful chances to learn and build new kinds of practices for being the body of Christ in a better way next month and next year.

All of us are being molded into the image of Christ. It is a lifetime of work for the Holy Spirit. But we can all be open to grace, more gracious with others and help others be more gracious too. Such work will allow the church to look more like Jesus – and that’s what/who we are called to be.