Since we live in a consumer culture, most of us have deep within our DNA a desire to “sell” the church to potential members. It is almost unavoidable. I am writing this blog and find that “selling” the church and trying to connect the needs of the visitor with the products the congregation has to be well short of what Christ hopes for from us. But still, that little voice speaks in our heads, “You’ve got a live one. Don’t let it get away!”

Mark Twain: “The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.” What he meant is that once we are here, the big question we all face is, “Why?” Meaning and purpose are central to making sense of our lives. In general, the younger a person is, the more seriously they tend to wonder about this question.

In spite of this, we often try to figure people out quickly and fit them into our program list. “Oh you have children. We have a wonderful youth group.” We say things like this even if our youth group is struggling on the off chance that if these two new kids join us it will be enough to tip the system and the group will be better. Perhaps they won’t even notice we were stretching the truth once they come! Or, “Our choir sure could use another tenor. Do you like to sing?” Here we might even suggest a program with no real knowledge of the gifts or interests of the person at all. But that voice in our head whispers, “We need warm bodies and this one appears to still be warm.”

What if we took a completely opposite approach? What if Mark Twain’s insight shaped our interactions with new people?

People come to our church looking for something. Rarely is it an exact match for a program we already have. Instead we should minimize the selling and maximize curiosity. Asking:
     * Why did you come?
     * What do you enjoy?
     * What are you good at?
     * What is your spiritual background?
     * What is your religious background (no - not the same as spiritual!)?
     * How can we assist you on your journey?
     * Who are the important people in your life?
     * Who has shaped your faith and values?

These questions establish the basis for a durable relationship. If we listen and accompany people as they answer these questions, our ability to connect our stories and our congregation’s ministries and members to new people will be much deeper, more authentic and genuinely helpful. Connections can contribute to the meaning and purpose of a person's life rather than seek to get them busy. The goal is to see if we can truly be companions with people who are new to us and to do so in ways that allow the church to flourish and new members to be involved as meaningful disciples and not just join whatever program we think they should.