Opinions are like Doritos – almost everyone likes them and you can always find room for one more. But opinions, while being fine, are our spin on how the facts shape something and what we think about it as a result. Some of our opinions are in areas where we have more knowledge and formation – we are more qualified to have them. Others are in areas where we may not know much at all but the topic touches our passions and interests in some way and so we form them anyway – even if they may lack insight and be less helpful.

Many congregations and other faith-based organizations are paralyzed as a result of opinions and how afraid leaders are to raise certain important topics because feelings run deep. But fear holds us hostage and leaders need new tactics to talk about important and relevant things. The fact that there are strong feelings is a sign that we should be processing this – not avoiding it.

Opinions, poorly formed, are dead end roads where our minds are made up and we have mistaken our opinion, no matter how poorly informed it may be, as facts. Saddest of all is when we have done no intellectual work of our own, but simply adopted the opinions of others as facts and landed there with almost no insight but with strong commitment to staying our ground. Quoting someone else’s opinion almost qualifies as “research” in today’s social media world. And social media has made this more than a hobby for many of us. It is so easy to see a catchy opinion, claim it with almost no understanding of our own, and then simply call people stupid who don’t agree. Many people do this for sport online and often spend a high percentage of their time on dead end roads built by the ill-informed opinions of others. And there are divisive people spawning these ideas just to draw in vulnerable people and sow the seeds of anger.

But opinions, well formed, can also be the early markers on a journey of learning – they guide us as we explore. Mature people form opinions and change their mind routinely as they acquire more data and experience. This doesn’t play well in public life, because a mistake twenty-five years ago has to be defended as “right” even if a quarter century later the person knows that choice wasn’t the best one. But maturity simply says, “I thought that was the best idea at the time. Knowing what I know now, I see that we could and should have done something different.” Only organizations with this kind of leadership will succeed in the world ahead.

So, in today’s opinionated world, here are three things you can do as a leader to open minds a bit wider (including your own):

1. Ask why this issue is important to you. My wife Marlene was at the online Kaleidoscope Institute last week and this question was used in groups. A lot of times people adopt strong opinions in order to feel in control of situations or able to sound like an expert. But actually asking a person how this topic or issue really impacts them and listening to why they care about it often opens both the person being asked and the listener to new and deeper insights.

2. Ask people to share a story or the content of a conversation with someone they know who is impacted by this. With regards to many opinions that relate to groups of people (Jews, Blacks, whites, LatinX, LGBTQIA, etc), many people have very strong opinions that include deep moral judgments. Asking a white person to share a story of a Black person they have had a conversation with about the Black Lives Matter movement or whatever the topic and opinions center around can defuse things and open all of us up. Any time we are forming opinions about the lives and actions of others outside of experiences we have had, if we have formed those opinions without listening to others who are more closely connected, we are probably looking out a very narrow window. Sometimes the most insightful moment comes when we can say, “I haven’t talked to anyone who is directly impacted by how this turns out.”

3. Encourage curiosity. Opinions that are a dead end always cut off curiosity. If someone has an opinion and lacks curiosity then restoring curiosity is essential. A good leader can ask, “What do you wonder about….?” and help people articulate things they don’t yet know. Admission of having a question without an answer is a key to more learning and to ongoing change.

Moving from entrenched opinions to curious and more open states of mind is a starting point for churches and other faith-based organizations. It will give us the chance to expand relationships, build more meaningful connections, and be a part of a new and more creative future as we do.