I am a consultant. I work with leaders of faith-based communities all across the United States and Canada. As my wife will tell you, once on the road I pretty much live at the mercy of airline schedules and however they work out. Bad weather, mechanical issues, and flight crews in the wrong spot all spell disaster for me. Often, because I also preach weekly in a parish, my return flight is the last flight home on Saturday evening. If something goes wrong, Sunday can be at risk.

This past week I have been inconvenienced by flight delays. The weather was fine, there was no mechanical issue, and crews still had hours allowed for them to fly safely. But the plane I was to leave on was not yet here – delayed by air traffic controllers’ hours being cut in the sequester. So I had to wait for the plane that should have arrived already to show up. I have to admit – it has been annoying. I have seen the grumblings of others who travel on line – I am not alone.

But in the last few days, Congress and the President have acted to solve this “crisis.” As well to do business travelers have had their work schedules delayed – the pressure from people who travel from business (hear: “people with money”) has pressed our elected leaders to solve the problem. And with bold action, in a few days, a bi-partisan effort to not inconvenience people with money rose up and a bill was passed. My problem, and the problem of lots of people like me was solved. Those “delayed” messages next to our flight listings would disappear and we could get where we were going on time.

I have to say, I am ashamed about this. I travel enough for work as to need this to work for me. But even with the delays, unless weather or mechanical issues intervened, I still got where I was going the same day – within less than 2 hours of when I was scheduled. And, in an effort to proclaim my innocence here in this blog, I only complained to my wife, who listened to my plight with love and sympathy. But I am still ashamed – a bit about my problem being solved and a lot about what it says about my country and its culture.

The Sequester was a stupid way to deal with an impasse. The goal was to provide such ridiculous “solutions” to the issues that no sane group of leaders would ever allow it to happen. And if it did happen, “We would all share the pain.” Across the board cuts meant that no one would go unimpacted by the consequences. As we felt the pain of the consequences we would either all sacrifice or out of compassion for each other, we would restore things with care and sanity to be sure the pain wasn’t too severe in ways that people would get hurt.

This week, the only short-term pain people with money were likely to feel (flight delays) was removed from the equation. Grandma’s Meals on Wheels cuts are still there. The four year old whose class at head Start was cut because teachers were laid off are still cut. Reductions in Medicaid, food assistance for low-income people, and all sorts of cuts are still there. I could go down the list but you get the point. Rich people can be selectively removed from the Sequester. Poor people are just out of luck. In the ongoing struggle to create a more just and compassionate society, once again classism and weak leadership have resulted in a moral failure.

My flights will be on time again. I should be happy about this. But in many ways I am not. Because this means I have to be numbered among the rich (and I am not happy about some of the implications). Religious leaders should be outraged at the injustice – even ones like me who spend too much time in airports. Because the planes being on time takes the pressure off our leaders (again). That means longer waits for the poor for food, education and healthcare. And I think God is pretty ticked off about that.

That’s one reason I was so excited a couple of weeks ago when I was in Kansas City for a conference on the Common Good and how churches should be involved in public life for the sake of the quality of life in the community. Issues of racial reconciliation, economic development, education, crime and safety and a host of other topics were on the table. It was refreshing to see a group of churches looking at how to influence outcomes in ways that advanced God’s reign in the local community more than advanced power and control over one pet issue or another. But one of the key concepts that was most helpful to me was that of “Collective Impact” – how do we know if we are actually making a difference as we work together?

Collective Impact asks a deeper question than many religious groups have been willing to ask before. While previously, just getting religious groups to work together has been its own success (can you think of any other groups that can come up with more reasons not to cooperate?), collaboration is no longer its own reward, and just saving money is not enough either. If we are expressing unity while getting nothing of value done, the value and the witness of that unity is immediately called into question. A healthy witness involves both a willingness to work together and the understanding that real work will be done that advances something significant that God cares about. The image in this post comes from the St. Louis area – and illustrates the kind of holistic efforts needed to renew a community – one that is hard to achieve if everyone wants to make their own contribution but no one wants to really cooperate. An article published in the Stanford Social Innovation Review shares some excellent ideas and research about how groups can increase their collective impact. (click here to link to this helpful article).

I thought of how many times I had been involved in a church or interfaith project – even a collaborative one – and wondered if we were making a real difference or just working together to move deck chairs on an already sinking ship. I thought about the best things I had been blessed to be part of while working in the church and rejoiced at the impact it had. The difference? Making a difference! Faith-based groups can (and should) be a real force for making the world look more like God wants it to look. But to do so, we will have to move beyond getting along and starting getting on with it. There is work to be done!

Over the years I have heard the above words uttered way too many times. It is usually in the context of some larger statement that goes like this: “I am a missional leader. I am not a chaplain. My job is to lead the church in mission. I don’t do home visits.” In my experience, unless this person is the pastor of a megachurch (and there has yet for there to be one example of this quote coming to me from a mainline megachurch pastor – there aren’t too many!), then it is most likely from a misconception about the nature of leadership, change and what it means to be missional.

Change is hard. There is no sense mincing words about that. Change is hard. But as a former engineer, I find that some aspects of change happen easily for me while others can be more difficult. In other words, not all change is equal and not all ways of changing are equal either. Every major change is emotional for someone. Really big changes can be emotional for everyone! And emotional issues are not dealt with primarily with ideas – they are handled within relationships.

In most congregations, an increased commitment to mission also means an increased commitment to missional pastoral care. Mission, especially as an innovation, causes stress. And pastoral care is one of the key ways to help deal with stress. Do a good job here and change will be easier and you will be more effective as a missional leader. Reduce it and change will be harder and your commitment to be a missional leader will be a pipe dream or figment of your overactive imagination.

So what is missional pastoral care?

Missional Pastoral Care is:

1. People centered – relationships are authentic and valued for their own benefit.
2. Open and dialogical – pastoral visits attend to issues facing the person they are visiting and don’t ignore them to get to the “important stuff.”
3. Aware of people’s feelings and intentional about checking on them and caring for them – asking how a person feels and how best to care for them is important. Then follow through and try to give them the care they need for a while. It may really help them (and the congregation) get through this).
4. Intentional about asking missional, God questions. (Note: in an earlier edit of this post, these questions were in a later paragraph. Thanks to Bob Logan for his suggestion to move them up and integrate them into the list). Good questions can help a person refocus their attention and issues. A few good questions include:
   • How do you feel about the recent decision/action?
   • How do you think God feels about the same decision/action?
   • If you reflect on this with me now, what do you think God sees as the best outcome  if this decision/action goes as well as possible from God’s perspective? What positives can you imagine in the midst of your anxiety about it?
5. Prayerful – pray with the people you visit and commit out loud to praying for them in your prayers in an ongoing well as they work through this.

The above tips are simple enough to do. But they require going to people and taking initiative. This is hard work! But lay leaders and pastors can both be involved in them. And they can make a huge difference. People who are able to love and be loved in the midst of hard decisions and actions are more likely to come out the other side staying connected and even committed to the church’s work. Helping people move from their emotional responses to more attentively thinking about God’s perspective and hopes can provide an opening for people to come to grips with things in a way that pure emotions won’t allow. And people who are loved when loving is hard appreciate the effort and long term may become transformed by the relationship that grows deeper in the midst of a decision or action they struggle with. So when your instincts tell you to “not do visits – you’re a missional leader,” rethink the idea. Loving people is an important part of change. In the end – love wins in many cases where good ideas would perish on their own.

I often hear people in the church talking about being tired about this time of year. Holy Week brings a crescendo to Lent and extra work, services, sermons and the rest bring a tiredness to leaders in the church. I frequently hear someone say something like, “I can’t wait until Monday morning after Easter when this all let’s up.” It is as if the resurrection is simply more work for already tired people.

I saw this post from Rich Melheim on Facebook a little while back. He wrote:

When I asked Tony Campolo to describe Lutherans he said: “Two things – their pastors are really tired… and they’ve got no fire in the belly.”  The fire is the Holy Spirit. Come, Spirit, come.

I would say that I often see the same thing in Presbyterians, Episcopalians, Methodists and other groups I work with. I find this quote helpful. I would expand it to include many of our lay leaders as well. There is often a tired spirit in much of our leadership and It is not limited to clergy – worship leaders, altar guilds, and lots of other people feel it. And it is not limited to Holy Week – many of our leaders are dragging much of the time. There is a tiredness to being a leader in a plateaued or declining place. There can even be a tiredness to being the leader of a growing place if the well from which we draw our water isn’t very deep.

I have two thoughts about things all of us should be doing about this. These aren’t Holy Week suggestions – they are habits to be built year ‘round.

1. Cultivate clear and helpful spiritual practices. The fact that God is present and working doesn’t mean that we can simply take it for granted. Our spiritual life is more like drinking than breathing. While we simply can’t make our bodies refuse to breathe, we can decide to not take a drink of water. It requires some intentionality – even if there is plenty of water near by. Every leader needs to discover and discern how best to drink from the spiritual wells that God provides. Some need to add contemplation and reflection. Others need to be more active and walk or travel a labyrinth’s winding paths. Many of us benefit from a coach, a spiritual director, or a regular group of people to talk with and be accountable to. Scripture, prayer and the thoughts of people wiser or further down the path are almost essentials.
2. Work from the yearnings in peoples’ souls (including yours). Many of us are familiar with the skills of Asset Mapping where a group looks at its assets and uses them to work in smarter ways. But what about “Passion Mapping?” Have you thought about the things that make your blood pump a little faster – the things you would like to make a difference in? Have you helped others in your organization to do this, too? Most leaders have the freedom to change how they work and focus at least some of their attention on things that excite them. Most faith-based organizations have the ability to change what they work on to add some new dimension that people long to be involved in.

When people who spend time drinking from the waters of Christ also work on things that bring joy and excitement to their lives, the tiredness of which Tony Campolo speaks often is replaced by new energy from the Holy Spirit and from the longings in our souls.

The last few days have brought with them a repeated emphasis on the importance of relationships – and even more importantly an emphasis on how the church needs to be working to help people foster purposeful and intentional ones. Whether I was teaching coaching to my church council (who all function as trained coaches in our leadership scheme), attending a training session on local community organizing, or reflecting on who could take the lead on something that we are working on – one thing became clear: The better we attend to relationships and the deeper we are willing to go with them, the easier it is to mobilize and support people in the work of the gospel.

Attending to meaningful relationships with intentionality is not as common as we think. At our council meeting this week we spent time on coach training and split up to share in one on one time. With a few key questions and a covenant to listen with openness and supportiveness, we shared with each other. When we were finished we prayed for each other – still in pairs.

As we debriefed the reaction was universal – this was great! It isn’t often we get to just open up and have someone there to give us their full attention. And it isn’t often we are in a safe enough space to do it anyway. Talking with someone alone is very different than sitting around a table over coffee and donuts during fellowship time. Something we would say in trust to a person we might not want to say out loud in a group where it feels more public.

That exercise changed our council meetings – at least for a while. We are going to pair up every meeting for a time to share and pray every meeting for a while. And we hope it will be a seed for figuring out how to help more people find places for that kind of connections in their life in the church as well. How can we help people have the kind of space and attention that allows them a safe place to share and be attended to?

As I observe how ministry really happens and how churches participate in what God is up to I notice an important trend. Where there are good and intentional relationships present it is easier to get things done. Where there is a missional consciousness there is more desire to do things that matter in God’s sight. Put them together and you have something special.

• (Missional Consciousness) – (Intentional Relationships) = Frustration
• (Intentional Relationships) – (Missional Consciousness) = Cliques
• (Intentional Relationships) + (Missional Consciousness) = Amazing!

If you are a missional leader and hoping to do the things that matter most in your setting, it may be that you already have emphasized mission enough to have raised the awareness of what could and should be happening in your place. It may be that the spark that will ignite a movement will come, not just from more emphasis on mission, but also on helping people connect with God and each other through trusting and intentional relationships.Connect people who want to see something happen with each other and, lo and behold, most of the time something will happen!

My response is almost always the same, “Please, do not go to these people and invite them to church!

That may sound like strange advice (I get lots of funny looks until I unpack the statement), but I am convinced that in most cases, it is also sound advice. And here is why:

Jesus routinely talked about our connections to others. He shared stories like to parable of the Good Samaritan, the Prodigal Son, and others that pointed to the importance of relating well to others – whether the other person is close to us and part of our family or a stranger we encounter along life’s journey. God loves people. People matter to God – they should matter to us.

A couple of years ago I was working with a church. I got them to go out and just meet people. No agenda other than meet them and learn who they were and what they knew and thought. The rule was: No inviting! Just listen!

This exercise is hard. When I train people to connect or reconnect to their community and neighbors there, this is one of the places I work hardest as a coach. People aren’t used to going to to meet new people. People aren’t used to going out on behalf of their church (and the models for it turn many of us off). Many of us aren’t skilled listeners. And it seems useless to take all this time to meet people on behalf of the church and not invite them to come on Sundays.

That congregation I mentioned above was about 35 years old. The last time they had gone out to the community was to invite people by “cold calling” on the neighbors as they started the mission congregation. The team I worked with visited one woman who lived right across the street. She was shocked to see them! Here’s what she said, “Someone visited me 35 years ago when they started that church. Invited me to come and when I didn’t, no one there has talked to me since.”

She understood the game: Church people come to your door to sell Jesus. You don’t buy and they go away.

Imagine if this had turned out differently. What if 35 years ago they simply went because they were her neighbors? After all, she has lived across the street from the church since before there was a church there! What if they came back, waved and said hi occasionally, and simply became her friends. Then, with a genuine friendship grounded in authentic relationships they got to know her and she got to know them. Imagine how different the story might have turned out! And what a different picture she would have had of Christ and Christ’s followers.

Often when we go door to door – whether to invite people to church or to hang flyers on their doors – we turn what could be a relationship into a transaction. And since most people won’t come as a result, we turn it into a negative transaction, a deal that failed.

Instead of trying to grow your church, first try growing your relationships. Be a real friend and a true neighbor. Be a place of influence and good will. Yes, go knock on their door or stop them in their yards. But find out what makes people tick, what they like about the community, where they struggle and need help, and what they do for fun.

At the same time, be a creative and lively faith community that engages God and each other well, listens when the neighbors speak, and provide lots of meaningful ways to connect with each other. Then, if there is something that connects with people’s stories, dreams and needs – then go invite them! Not because it is a transaction. But because now you know who they are and can connect them with integrity as a result. On the surface, this seems like a slower way to grow the church. But most congregations are not growing! And growing slowly and with integrity may be faster than what many of us are doing anyway!

I had a little “aha” moment this morning. It had to do with creation, the environmental movement within the church, and spirituality. I realized that I have emphasized certain things about care of creation and why we do it from a stewardship perspective – the wise use of the gifts God has given us. But this morning, while sharing in our weekly staff centering time, I recognized that there is something far deeper than stewardship at stake for me as well as the church. We would all do well to rethink our relationship to the world God has made.

Perhaps it is my upbringing – practical people raised me. Perhaps it is my training – I was trained to be an engineer before changing careers and becoming a pastor. Perhaps it is the urgency in our culture – the rising seas and crazy storms wreak havoc on our world and make people worry about the danger and costs of global warming. But for whatever combination of reasons, I think I have not given enough attention to a deeper reason to care for the earth: God made it.

That may sound simple enough, but western theology has had a long track record of assuming that the world was made for us. We – and not the world – are the point of the whole deal. In some thinking, the only reason that God made the world was to sustain us. Some theologies go so far as to think dualistically about the whole enterprise – teaching that it is even wrong to worry about the world since it is flesh and not spirit and going to pass away anyway. In some way, many (most?) of us think of the world in merely practical terms. Environmental concern is less about the world itself and more about what kind of life will we be leaving for our children and grandchildren.

This summer, as part of a Lilly Foundation grant, my wife and I are going to spend a month in Ireland and Northern Ireland studying Celtic spirituality. My goal is to renew, refresh and to gain new insights that will enhance my teaching and lead to a curriculum for new Christians or people curious about the whole enterprise – a sort of Alpha for mainline/progressives.

Part of that will be spending time with Grace Clunie, an Anglican woman who lives in Armagh, Northern Ireland. She has written a beautiful little book called Sacred Living that I have read and that our entire congregation will be reading during our upcoming adventure. This morning, as part of our staff centering time at Day 8 Strategies we discussed the first chapter of the book – a chapter focusing on creation. It was in that discussion that it really struck me: My teaching about care of the earth has been stewardship focused and utilitarian. That’s not wrong – these are important and practical concerns. But I have not done a good job connecting my personal love of the world – something goes back to my childhood growing up in the mountains of upstate New York – to God’s love for the world

We need to help people do more than care for the world as a practical matter. Leaders in the renewing church need to help people reconnect with the world that God has made and loves. We need to help people see the world as more than a resource for human consumption and as more than its own version of “stuff.” A holistic spirituality will love the world for the treasure it is. It will love it because, like people, it was shaped by the life-giving power of God. When scripture says, “God so love the world…” it is referring to more than people – it is referring to the “cosmos” – all of creation. In fact, our “believing” in Jesus as the Messiah may be part of the transformation that allows the cosmos to be loved. Transformed by faith, we are able to see all that God has made – not just for our own use but as part of what it means to participate in the eternal life that begins here and now as we trust God.

In your leadership, help people notice how wondrous creation is. Find ways to spend time paying attention in your own life and help others do so, too. Help people to grieve when the world hurts. Help people to rejoice when the world is healed and doing well. Sure, it is fine to care for the earth as a practical matter. But how much more exciting to fall in love with it and care for it simply because God cares for it, too!

Over the last few weeks I have been part of two workshop programs in two different judicatories that involved teaching about planning. I attended a meeting with another group I work with/for yesterday and strategic planning came up again. And much of the work I do is grounded in something like strategic planning – although I use more emergent and immediate methods than most traditional long range planners (which I find to mostly be a waste of time, energy and money for most congregations). Across the board I see the same thing – planning is a replacement for mission and ministry rather than a tool to help make it happen.

Let me be clear. I help groups plan. And I coach groups to carry out these plans. So I am far from anti-planning. Having some shared agreement on what we are doing and who, how, when, etc. that we are doing it is essential to getting a group of people to do anything together. But strategic planning is NOT what most groups need. Most groups need help with strategic engagement. They need leadership that can think strategically. They need a desire to get beyond thinking and actually DO SOMETHING. Sadly, too many churches lack this desire – so planning becomes the thing to do instead. In the process time, energy and the Spirit are sucked right out of too many people.

One question I often get from lay leaders when I teach about this is, “Can our congregation do this if our pastor is not on board? This isn’t his/her thing and they seem to be disinterested in strategic kinds of stuff.”

The answer is pretty much “no.” You probably can’t. Not because the pastor is so important to getting things to happen – any group of people can engage and do something without everyone being on board. But in most congregations, the pastor is the only one who gets to set the tone, talk to everyone every week in the sermon, and determines what energy the staff will commit to this (and in many small congregations the “staff” and the “pastor” are the same person since they have one ordained employee and a part time secretary). So a pastor in that setting who is disinterested in this can pretty much suck the life out of people who want to do something without even trying. It just happens by default since they devote all their time and energy doing and talking about something else.

So here is the deal:

• No amount of strategic planning will make much difference if people and the congregation are not strategically engaged in the community in which you serve (the sign out front saying “Visitors welcome” does not count)
• No amount of planning can overcome weak or disinterested leadership. The best leadership comes from a team of committed people (laity and clergy) taking responsibility for keeping this on the table. And sadly, a congregation with no pastor is often in a better place to do this than a congregation with a missionally disinterested one.
• All of this is just more busy work if no one actually wants to do anything. It will make you feel good to plan for a while. You may even get a nice document out of the deal. But if you don’t want to do something, just saying so up front can save you all the time, energy and trees killed in order to produce and write a “plan.” 

On the other hand, if you want something to actually happen, get engaged leaders to engage people (inside and outside your congregation). Decide what kinds of things God is calling forth from you to get real attention. Make a plan to do something about these things. And then do them!

A good coach or consultant is not primarily about helping you come up with a plan. They are there to help you actually help you decide what to do and then do something. So, go ahead. For God’s sake, do something!

When I was working with Tana and Kelly Fryer as a part of our ARE Project, one of our practices was the practice of “Working Playfully.” It isn’t the same as play some and work some (although that can be good, too). Working playfully is actually finding playful, creative and fun ways to work. And when it works right, the results are more enjoyable and creative – a double win!

I was recently at a meeting where we worked playfully for a while. Energy flowed, the conversation had life, and the meeting was a success. But a time came when the schedule mandated us finishing up some things in a more direct, check a couple of things off the list way. By the end of the meeting, the last 30 minutes had killed much of the life we had discovered in the first 90. This is not easy and requires leaders to break old habits (that everyone has – leaders and others). The old ways of working are habitual, systemic and deeply ingrained.

When I worked in Omaha, a pastor friend named Bob and I were charged with planning a conference together. We both liked baseball and the Omaha team had Wednesday afternoon games all summer. We met at the park and found our seats. We ordered a hot dog and a beer. We watched the game and talked between innings, during breaks, and whenever the mood hit us. The atmosphere was perfect – we both love baseball and the day was sunny and perfect for being outside. By the ninth inning we had lots of ideas, a clear to-do list, and follow up plans for each of us to carry out. It was one of the most enjoyable, creative and productive meetings of my life. And somehow, we had managed to get the work done and enjoy the game simultaneously. We would never have finished as much had we met in a conference room. Our ideas would have been worse. And we wouldn’t have seen a game. An odd experience of goofing off to maximum productivity and results!

Think about what you are doing and also how you are preparing to do it. Are there different combinations of people, places, methods, and fun that you could put in place. What if you said to a colleague, “Let’s meet for happy hour at 4 PM and see if we can plan _____ by 6?” Or what if you went out for a long lunch in the park and said, “Let’s plan to be back by 2:30 with ______ planned?” Or what if you got a group of people together in the evening in someone’s home and said, “Let’s have an hors d’oeuvres party and when the night is over we’ll have finished getting ______ ready?”

Working playfully can happen in a lot of ways and places. It can involve combining work and play creatively. Without it, our brains and our bodies are tired by the end. With it – both can find new life.

I had been clear. We were going out into the community to ask questions and meet people. We were not going out to “sell” Jesus. This was not the chance to emulate the fundamentalist who went door to door pressing for a decision to follow Christ (or go to hell). This was a chance to be neighbors to our neighbors and let them be neighbors for us. But as the day grew closer for the leaders to head out, people fell by the wayside. The group of almost a dozen dwindled to only four of us by the time we headed out. And although the experiences of each of us who did go out were all positive, I couldn’t help wondering what had happened.

That was almost five years ago now. But I have seen the same kinds of things again and again. Leaders talk up, teach about, and recruit for people to go out and meet the neighbors. Everyone feels clear early on – it sounds like such a good idea. But as the day draws closer the baggage of deeply etched images of Jehovah’s Witnesses or pushy evangelicals crawl out of the recesses of people’s minds and whisper in their ears, “You don’t really want to be like them, do you?” And a “no” rises up from inside of them and many people just can’t quite make themselves do it.

As I have led congregations and trained groups over these last few years, here is one thing that I have learned. If you are teaching a skill that people have seen poorly modeled for a long time, you have to show them what it looks like to do it the new way. No matter what I said about the new way of doing it, the images of the old way were way stronger than any words I could put out there. For many people, being taught about a new skill without seeing the skill actually happen, makes it impossible for them to imagine themselves actually doing the new way.

This means, if you want someone to talk to a new person on the front porch, you have huge baggage to overcome. Instead of sharing the idea, describing the work, and inviting people to do it – I now try to add one additional step. I demonstrate using a role-play. People need to see the interaction – not just hear about it 

How might this look in practice? Perhaps you are the pastor of a congregation that is trying to get better connected and simply be more neighborly. You want to include other participants in the congregation in the work – this is not one person’s private task. It belongs to the whole church. During a sermon, you set up an interruption. Someone who knows how to talk to people in the new way knocks on the side door of the sanctuary, disrupting the sermon. The preacher looks toward the door, ignores the knock and continues on. The person knocks again. The pastor heads over, opens the door and is greeted by a friendly greeting. The conversation unfolds, the person at the door asking the kinds of questions to be discussed, the pastor answering and the congregation seeing the interaction happen. When the conversation ends and the person heads back out the side door, the sermon can resume, now unpacking the conversation that just happened as part of the teaching and message for the day.

This kind of thing, done creatively and when many people are able to see it happen, can unlock possibilities that mere words of encouragement can never touch. A skit at a dinner, an interruption during a sermon, a brief example during announcements can change everything. As leaders, the next time you want people to use a new skill, don’t just tell or ask people to do it, show them what doing it looks like. Their eyes will take them where their imaginations may not let them go. And new behaviors (with new results) are much more likely to follow.